Saturday, March 11, 2017
Detox
So I'm working to detox from my mild Facebook addiction and keeping the pull it had on me at bay. I have a busy enough life that I don't need to always lurk, scroll, or comment. It's time to pull further away on it for my own good.
Thursday, March 09, 2017
Why
I don't know why I care about someone who doesn't care about me even if they are family. Watching them twist our disagreement into a reason for getting their 'good friends' attention. Calling me self-centered.
All I did was tell my sister it was NOT okay for her to constantly tell me how I should raise my kids. She constantly nit picks me on this about my son or if she were me she wouldn't do that with my daughter. Over weeks, months, years this weighs on a person. Eventually I want to stop and say "Hey, this isn't okay."
But when I do I am 'twisting' her words. So shut me off, tell me you feel you have no sisters and then post that you miss our other sister. Does she not see how that would hurt? Eventually I will find a way to be okay with this. Perhaps I am better off without family other than my husband and kids. This whole cycle is not healthy for me anyway.
All I did was tell my sister it was NOT okay for her to constantly tell me how I should raise my kids. She constantly nit picks me on this about my son or if she were me she wouldn't do that with my daughter. Over weeks, months, years this weighs on a person. Eventually I want to stop and say "Hey, this isn't okay."
But when I do I am 'twisting' her words. So shut me off, tell me you feel you have no sisters and then post that you miss our other sister. Does she not see how that would hurt? Eventually I will find a way to be okay with this. Perhaps I am better off without family other than my husband and kids. This whole cycle is not healthy for me anyway.
Monday, March 06, 2017
So much
So much has happened in my life the last 10 years. I have married the love of my life and have been raising my kids the best that I can.
Along the way I have been trying to navigate broken relationships with my sisters. I have been told I am the problem so often it drove me into therapy. In there I handed over all of my emails so that I could have an unbiased person look at what was said by me and the other side so I could be told what I was doing wrong. I expected to be told what I was doing wrong but was surprised to be asked when they have to be the adult and I can stop having to be the adult. Still nothing improved. I was working on rebuilding with my older sister (they were always close and I was always the odd man out. They told me it was my fault. I was always too ____ <-----insert adjective="" defensive="" delusional="" here="" p="" sensitive...="">
My older sister faced a lot. Breast cancer for over a year then we find out her husband of 6 years was abusive and tried to kill her so we got her to move back with my parents. She apparently was also battling depression because the abusive marriage was so deep that she missed him and in September she took her own life in my parents house when they were gone over night.
Since then I felt my younger sister has felt upset that she is gone and it wasn't me. I truly feel she wishes it was me who had passed and not our older sister. I have tried to be dependable, listen to her and help her (my younger sister) and also to do something with her she liked to do. I was so excited that we may have a chance to be close like other sisters I see. But that isn't to be so. As I have seen through my life I don't get the same free pass they got to say what they felt they needed to say to me and I can't say anything in my defense. I am told I am defensive, delusional, crazy and lord knows what else.
But my younger sister likes to sit in her chair and pass judgement on others in how they live their life. She felt recently it was okay to tell me her thoughts on my daughter's anxiety (and my niece - older sisters daughter) and that she wished she lived closer to do things with them. All she said pointed to thinking she could help them be less anxious about things where perhaps I have not with my daughter. She has always complained about my son, his volume, and anything she thinks he has done wrong in her eyes. She also vents about her sister in laws, mother in law and how what they do is wrong also in her eyes.
So I grew tired of hearing her take on my parenting (although she didn't think she was doing it) and stuck up for myself saying that I love her but the ways she thinks she is always right irks me. All hell broke loose. She created an itemized numbered list of the things she has learned to NOT do with her child from what I do with MY kids. And then she added she sometimes feels she has NO sisters now. Then posted on FB that she 'Missed her sister'. I knew this was in response to our argument and saying she has no sisters as she pushed me aside. She missed our older sister because she couldn't complain about me to anyone. That she doesn't view me as a sister. This made me crumble. I have tried so hard to be close. So very very hard. I was crying on the phone when my husband heard me. He lost it. He even commented on one of my younger sisters fb posts (which he never posts.) Then he said she is dead to him, not allowed in our house any more because he is tired of her hurting me and using me as a door mat.
Now my family is torn apart. I was told again I am delusional and my husbands comment was crazy.
My kids are doing well and my marriage to my husband is amazing but my relationship with my sisters (which was non existent as a child) will never be what I always wanted it to be. I can look at myself and fix a lot but the other side has to do the same. She refuses and prefers to say it is all my fault.
Along the way I have been trying to navigate broken relationships with my sisters. I have been told I am the problem so often it drove me into therapy. In there I handed over all of my emails so that I could have an unbiased person look at what was said by me and the other side so I could be told what I was doing wrong. I expected to be told what I was doing wrong but was surprised to be asked when they have to be the adult and I can stop having to be the adult. Still nothing improved. I was working on rebuilding with my older sister (they were always close and I was always the odd man out. They told me it was my fault. I was always too ____ <-----insert adjective="" defensive="" delusional="" here="" p="" sensitive...="">
My older sister faced a lot. Breast cancer for over a year then we find out her husband of 6 years was abusive and tried to kill her so we got her to move back with my parents. She apparently was also battling depression because the abusive marriage was so deep that she missed him and in September she took her own life in my parents house when they were gone over night.
Since then I felt my younger sister has felt upset that she is gone and it wasn't me. I truly feel she wishes it was me who had passed and not our older sister. I have tried to be dependable, listen to her and help her (my younger sister) and also to do something with her she liked to do. I was so excited that we may have a chance to be close like other sisters I see. But that isn't to be so. As I have seen through my life I don't get the same free pass they got to say what they felt they needed to say to me and I can't say anything in my defense. I am told I am defensive, delusional, crazy and lord knows what else.
But my younger sister likes to sit in her chair and pass judgement on others in how they live their life. She felt recently it was okay to tell me her thoughts on my daughter's anxiety (and my niece - older sisters daughter) and that she wished she lived closer to do things with them. All she said pointed to thinking she could help them be less anxious about things where perhaps I have not with my daughter. She has always complained about my son, his volume, and anything she thinks he has done wrong in her eyes. She also vents about her sister in laws, mother in law and how what they do is wrong also in her eyes.
So I grew tired of hearing her take on my parenting (although she didn't think she was doing it) and stuck up for myself saying that I love her but the ways she thinks she is always right irks me. All hell broke loose. She created an itemized numbered list of the things she has learned to NOT do with her child from what I do with MY kids. And then she added she sometimes feels she has NO sisters now. Then posted on FB that she 'Missed her sister'. I knew this was in response to our argument and saying she has no sisters as she pushed me aside. She missed our older sister because she couldn't complain about me to anyone. That she doesn't view me as a sister. This made me crumble. I have tried so hard to be close. So very very hard. I was crying on the phone when my husband heard me. He lost it. He even commented on one of my younger sisters fb posts (which he never posts.) Then he said she is dead to him, not allowed in our house any more because he is tired of her hurting me and using me as a door mat.
Now my family is torn apart. I was told again I am delusional and my husbands comment was crazy.
My kids are doing well and my marriage to my husband is amazing but my relationship with my sisters (which was non existent as a child) will never be what I always wanted it to be. I can look at myself and fix a lot but the other side has to do the same. She refuses and prefers to say it is all my fault.
Monday, March 02, 2015
What comes around goes around....
In mid 2007- early 2008 during my divorce I was buried in debt, fear, and 60 hour work weeks. With two young kids, more than a full-time job, a townhouse of my own to take care of and an ex to navigate while helping a child with issues I was feeling overwhelmed and alone. My new man is a tough man and he is a no-nonsense guy who says 'just do it' attitude.
On a particularly rough day my sister texted me while I was driving to work with two fighting kids in the back seat. At a stop light I texted back "I can't text, I'm in my car." She replied "Don't text and drive." And now I have two fighting kids and a lecture for a stressed- out person. So I texted back "I'm at a stop light. Please don't lecture."
With family I have only been able to vent to my mom. My dad hears my complaints and tries to 'fix' things or worries too much. With my older sister who has gone through something similar she would listen but we didn't always communicate well. My younger sister was the one who lectured. "stop being the victim", "stop complaining and raise your kids" among other statements.
Now 8 years later my sister and her husband moved back to PA from florida and all she does is whine and complain about the snow and weather and how florida is "paradise" and snidely makes fun of PA. I am sick of it and have told her to either move or stop complaining (which is what she would say to me.) This isn't life shattering. This was a choice like my divorce. Like when she told me to stop playing the victim. But she likes to make herself the victim by saying they moved back "for family". But in reality their work situation was dissolving and a job opened up back home. They made an adult choice. Time to deal and shut it or move back.
All in all she laid the ground work for the 'don't play the victim, shut up' mentality and I am dieing to throw it back in her face however I know that she won't remember EVER talking to me that way because I am always painted the evil-doer and nasty person and she is the 'good person'. She couldn't be more wrong. We both have our moments and neither of us have learned to properly be there for each other. I will throw it in her face if I can but I keep trying to be a good person. But some day what comes around goes around.
On a particularly rough day my sister texted me while I was driving to work with two fighting kids in the back seat. At a stop light I texted back "I can't text, I'm in my car." She replied "Don't text and drive." And now I have two fighting kids and a lecture for a stressed- out person. So I texted back "I'm at a stop light. Please don't lecture."
With family I have only been able to vent to my mom. My dad hears my complaints and tries to 'fix' things or worries too much. With my older sister who has gone through something similar she would listen but we didn't always communicate well. My younger sister was the one who lectured. "stop being the victim", "stop complaining and raise your kids" among other statements.
Now 8 years later my sister and her husband moved back to PA from florida and all she does is whine and complain about the snow and weather and how florida is "paradise" and snidely makes fun of PA. I am sick of it and have told her to either move or stop complaining (which is what she would say to me.) This isn't life shattering. This was a choice like my divorce. Like when she told me to stop playing the victim. But she likes to make herself the victim by saying they moved back "for family". But in reality their work situation was dissolving and a job opened up back home. They made an adult choice. Time to deal and shut it or move back.
All in all she laid the ground work for the 'don't play the victim, shut up' mentality and I am dieing to throw it back in her face however I know that she won't remember EVER talking to me that way because I am always painted the evil-doer and nasty person and she is the 'good person'. She couldn't be more wrong. We both have our moments and neither of us have learned to properly be there for each other. I will throw it in her face if I can but I keep trying to be a good person. But some day what comes around goes around.
Wise words in marriage
Judge Lynn Toler on Divorce Court today stated "women need love when they are the least lovable and men need applause when they least deserve it." Wise words.
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Time marches on
After I started this blog I bought a 2007 vw beetle convertible and
my blogging friends named her Caliente, or cali for short. Now as I own
her outright she has been failing in sections and costing me more and
more money. Do I want to get rid of her? No. But VW's are expensive
to repair and things keep coming up.
Sadly I may trade her in.
My children are growing leaps and bounds. My daughter is 13 years old and due to some health issues is home schooling via cyber with our district. My son is almost 15 and has improved leaps and bounds. He has moved through taekwondo to a black belt, he is in chorus and goes on competitive trips. Now he wishes to try out for football. Now in 9th grade and having 5 advanced classes he is eligible for AP level classes and his grades are good.
Watching my children grow so fast is not easy. I was laid off from my job around 3 years ago. I have gotten to become a 'stay at home' mom again thanks to my husband taking care of things. My husband and I bought a new house last year after selling our two townhouses and it was a smart financial decision. It seems my life has settled down. We have been married for 3 years (together around 7 years.) And married life with husband #2 has its pitfalls and moments of disagreement. But it is far easier with him than husband #1. He is stuck with me because I am in it for the long haul. I am truly happy.
I can't believe that in 3 short years my son will be on the cusp of graduating and heading to college. He has a college and degree in mind and a plan. I am proud of him. Now to get my daughter on a solid path. But I feel old all of a sudden and want them to stop growing so darn fast. Angel's cloud is not ready to be an empty nest any time soon.
Sadly I may trade her in.
My children are growing leaps and bounds. My daughter is 13 years old and due to some health issues is home schooling via cyber with our district. My son is almost 15 and has improved leaps and bounds. He has moved through taekwondo to a black belt, he is in chorus and goes on competitive trips. Now he wishes to try out for football. Now in 9th grade and having 5 advanced classes he is eligible for AP level classes and his grades are good.
Watching my children grow so fast is not easy. I was laid off from my job around 3 years ago. I have gotten to become a 'stay at home' mom again thanks to my husband taking care of things. My husband and I bought a new house last year after selling our two townhouses and it was a smart financial decision. It seems my life has settled down. We have been married for 3 years (together around 7 years.) And married life with husband #2 has its pitfalls and moments of disagreement. But it is far easier with him than husband #1. He is stuck with me because I am in it for the long haul. I am truly happy.
I can't believe that in 3 short years my son will be on the cusp of graduating and heading to college. He has a college and degree in mind and a plan. I am proud of him. Now to get my daughter on a solid path. But I feel old all of a sudden and want them to stop growing so darn fast. Angel's cloud is not ready to be an empty nest any time soon.
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Long hiatus
After a long hiatus I am going to try and blog again. A lot of time has passed and a lot has changed in my life.
My life is wonderful. I remarried my soulmate December of 2011 via a surprise wedding HE planned. More on that in the future. I have turned 40. My kids have grown so much. My son is now 13 and my daughter 11. My son is taller than me now (which didn't take a lot as I am 5'-0" tall) but he is already over 5'-2" yay!!
Despite losing my job over 2 years ago my new husband married me and we are making ends meet thanks to his hard work. We hope to try and market his hot sauce in the future and have it be my job, perhaps earn our first million. lol In the meantime we are working to get the renters out of his townhouse so we can sell it then sell the townhouse we are currently residing in. We have a house breaking ground in August that will be done Dec/January.
What is fantastic is that we will save money by doing that and have more space. I think its the beginning of our next wonderful chapter.
Years ago I was so unhappily married but a happy mom. Now I am a very happy wife and mother with the man I should have married in the first place.
My son is now a black belt in taekwondo and despite having been diagnosed with severe adhd/odd keeps battling for a normal teenage life. With each year his behavior improves but has been such a struggle/battle.
My daughter has discovered her love of singing (which I sang competitively for many years as did my mother so its genetic.)
I am bracing for the hills and valleys of the teenage years as it has begun. I hope to blog about it here to vent AND brag.
My life is wonderful. I remarried my soulmate December of 2011 via a surprise wedding HE planned. More on that in the future. I have turned 40. My kids have grown so much. My son is now 13 and my daughter 11. My son is taller than me now (which didn't take a lot as I am 5'-0" tall) but he is already over 5'-2" yay!!
Despite losing my job over 2 years ago my new husband married me and we are making ends meet thanks to his hard work. We hope to try and market his hot sauce in the future and have it be my job, perhaps earn our first million. lol In the meantime we are working to get the renters out of his townhouse so we can sell it then sell the townhouse we are currently residing in. We have a house breaking ground in August that will be done Dec/January.
What is fantastic is that we will save money by doing that and have more space. I think its the beginning of our next wonderful chapter.
Years ago I was so unhappily married but a happy mom. Now I am a very happy wife and mother with the man I should have married in the first place.
My son is now a black belt in taekwondo and despite having been diagnosed with severe adhd/odd keeps battling for a normal teenage life. With each year his behavior improves but has been such a struggle/battle.
My daughter has discovered her love of singing (which I sang competitively for many years as did my mother so its genetic.)
I am bracing for the hills and valleys of the teenage years as it has begun. I hope to blog about it here to vent AND brag.
Monday, May 24, 2010
Hoping for better tomorrows
The one regret I do not have is the choice to break free from my destructive marriage. As I approach in a few days what WOULD have been my 14 year anniversary I have turned introspective. I regret not fighting for the house. I regret not making different decisions in housing once I didn't fight for the house. I regret not being a stay at home mom any more as I can not always be the mom I used to be. It isn't that I don't like to work, contrary, I do like to work. Work gives me a sense of self. It just isn't enough money. But what I do NOT regret is leaving my now ex husband.
I hope to start up this blog again as a form of catharticism and to capture some more funny things my children say. My daughter says a ton of funny things and by rereading some of passed posts and the things they have said and done before has been fun.
So we shall see if I can post more regularly
I hope to start up this blog again as a form of catharticism and to capture some more funny things my children say. My daughter says a ton of funny things and by rereading some of passed posts and the things they have said and done before has been fun.
So we shall see if I can post more regularly
Saturday, April 11, 2009
No kids
It's my weekend to have the kids BUT it's Easter weekend and S is to have the kids Easter Sunday (being an odd year... according to his legal forms. *rolls eyes*)
I make the most of the time without my babies rejouvenating myself so I am a better mom when I do have them. So M and I are chilling. I had a long day at work. Did the treadmill and am pooped.
Now.... what's for dinner M? lmao.
I make the most of the time without my babies rejouvenating myself so I am a better mom when I do have them. So M and I are chilling. I had a long day at work. Did the treadmill and am pooped.
Now.... what's for dinner M? lmao.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
photo catch up
M's favorite picture of S. In his fav hat.
S in her balloon boobs being a 'wooooman'
M likes to put things on my head and take photos. At least this isn't a basket.
Like this.
oh yeah... that's nice too. ugh.
Sugar laying across Flounder on our bed with M in bed one Saturday morning while I was at work... Looks comfy.
S in M's hat. She is sooo cute.
Yet another pic of me with something on my head.
S being a big busted woman in her Steeler garb.
Sugar, new cat #2 at 3 months. We got her Oct. 2008
S's 6th b-day sept 2007 (mid divorce)
S smiling BEFORE losing teeth Jan. 2008 in my new kitchen.
B just smiling. It doesn't happen all the time so it's a precious moment. Can't wait to see him calm down and laugh all the time.
S January 2008 in my new townhouse after the divorce. She likes pink.
Christmas 2007 my son B (in blue stripes) my daughter (red/pink stripes) and my neices K, in the back and J on the right. In my parents house. They just sold their house.
My kids Halloween Oct. 2008. Hannah Montana and Harry Potter of course. 2 plans and a huge pile of candy later they crashed. M and I took them around so we crashed too. LOL
Amber Raye Doo...... passed away March 4th 2009 a few days after a grooming visit gone wrong. Age.... only 4 years old. *sniff*
After my 13 year old cat Epi passed away in November we got flounder. This is him at 3 months old. He is much much bigger now.
My kids Halloween Oct. 2008. Hannah Montana and Harry Potter of course. 2 plans and a huge pile of candy later they crashed. M and I took them around so we crashed too. LOLAmber Raye Doo...... passed away March 4th 2009 a few days after a grooming visit gone wrong. Age.... only 4 years old. *sniff*After my 13 year old cat Epi passed away in November we got flounder. This is him at 3 months old. He is much much bigger now.
Laughter makes the day go by...
I had lots of laughs at work tonight which is a good thing since I started work at 8:30 am and finished at 9pm. (sure I left from 3pm until 6pm, which is nice) but laughing makes it much much better. I wish the chick that cracks me up wasn't temporarily filling in. Keeping a staff with the hours and pay that are offered in the detailed job we do is hard. We have fun though.
I think there was talk about an uptight person turning coal into diamonds in their a*s and many other (now nonsensical) things that just had me busting a gut. Ahhhh simple pleasures.
Two more days of work for me this week but at least my long days are done for the week.
So I called my kids and said good night and now I am going to curl up with M and relax.
I think there was talk about an uptight person turning coal into diamonds in their a*s and many other (now nonsensical) things that just had me busting a gut. Ahhhh simple pleasures.
Two more days of work for me this week but at least my long days are done for the week.
So I called my kids and said good night and now I am going to curl up with M and relax.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
What more could you want?
I am done with one of my long days. I'm in my jammies and sitting in bed watching tv/surfing the web beside M. What more could you ask for? Ahhhhhhh comfy. Oh yeah, and did I mention he fed me chocolate? yeah. I know.
Rough
My son is 9 years old and a handful. I love him dearly but there is a lot that exhausts me. Since Kindergarten we have gotten calls from the school about this or that. Through the years they threw the term aspergers at us. Part of the reason for my divorce was because of trying to find answers for my son. I felt my son needed evaluated and some help while my ex felt that my son is perfectly fine because, as he said, my son is just like my ex. (not a winning argument with me as I had many issues with how my ex operated.)
It is a minute to minute, day to day struggle with my son. As it turns out he does NOT have aspergers but he does have ADHD hyperactivity with impuslivity issues. He also has a 132 IQ. (Above superior range they say.)
According to my research:
High IQ & Genius IQ
Genius IQ is generally considered to begin around 140 to 145, representing ~.25% of the population (1 in 400). Here's a rough guide:
115-124 - Above average (e.g., university students)
125-134 - Gifted (e.g., post-graduate students)
135-144 - Highly gifted (e.g., intellectuals)
145-154 - Genius (e.g., professors)
155-164 - Genius (e.g., Nobel Prize winners)
165-179 - High genius
180-200 - Highest genius
>200 - "Unmeasurable genius"
His behaviors mimic aspergers children but are different from what they say. The biggest issue is his short fuse, lack of organization and his lack of understanding critism or changes in his routine. He will throw a knock down drag out body flalling fit.
He just had one. He posed this math problem and wouldn't let me show him my results because he was wrong. He hates being wrong. Instead he ripped the pen out of my hand, threw something at his sister, screamed over me then when I tried to continue to show him he ran out saying I hate him.
Aggggghhhh. What is a mom to do?
It is a minute to minute, day to day struggle with my son. As it turns out he does NOT have aspergers but he does have ADHD hyperactivity with impuslivity issues. He also has a 132 IQ. (Above superior range they say.)
According to my research:
High IQ & Genius IQ
Genius IQ is generally considered to begin around 140 to 145, representing ~.25% of the population (1 in 400). Here's a rough guide:
115-124 - Above average (e.g., university students)
125-134 - Gifted (e.g., post-graduate students)
135-144 - Highly gifted (e.g., intellectuals)
145-154 - Genius (e.g., professors)
155-164 - Genius (e.g., Nobel Prize winners)
165-179 - High genius
180-200 - Highest genius
>200 - "Unmeasurable genius"
His behaviors mimic aspergers children but are different from what they say. The biggest issue is his short fuse, lack of organization and his lack of understanding critism or changes in his routine. He will throw a knock down drag out body flalling fit.
He just had one. He posed this math problem and wouldn't let me show him my results because he was wrong. He hates being wrong. Instead he ripped the pen out of my hand, threw something at his sister, screamed over me then when I tried to continue to show him he ran out saying I hate him.
Aggggghhhh. What is a mom to do?
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Ahhhhhh...... Tuesday nights
I don't work tuesday nights. It is finish laundry nights. It is enjoy kids nights.
Tonight after homework we plan Easter egg coloring and a project started for my son. I have my Easter Ham in the oven since I work 12 hours Wednesdays and Thursdays. I figure making the ham on Friday would be cruel and unusual punishment.
M is finishing up his second 14 hour work day and I hope to surprise him with the ham. I hope he stays awake enough to eat it. LOL.
Right now we are working to sell my townhouse so we can move in with him. We plan to get married but financially can not do that until we sell or lease my place. He is 7 years older than me and has never been married. He says he wasn't going to settle for the wrong person. I am honored he views me as the 'right' person.
So I'm in comfy comfy clothes and worklaxing.......ahhhhh Tuesday nights.
Tonight after homework we plan Easter egg coloring and a project started for my son. I have my Easter Ham in the oven since I work 12 hours Wednesdays and Thursdays. I figure making the ham on Friday would be cruel and unusual punishment.
M is finishing up his second 14 hour work day and I hope to surprise him with the ham. I hope he stays awake enough to eat it. LOL.
Right now we are working to sell my townhouse so we can move in with him. We plan to get married but financially can not do that until we sell or lease my place. He is 7 years older than me and has never been married. He says he wasn't going to settle for the wrong person. I am honored he views me as the 'right' person.
So I'm in comfy comfy clothes and worklaxing.......ahhhhh Tuesday nights.
Life since the divorce
It has been a year since the divorce was official. I will give a quick synopsis of what has transpired since then.
April 2008 divorce was finalized.
June 2008 won a trip to Puerto Rico through work for a job well done. Took M and had a blast.
Late August my daughter starts 1st grade and my son starts 3rd. My son is trying to be labeled with having Aspergers (the school has been trying since kindergarten.) He received an IQ test last year which ranked him Superior range. I didn't know what that meant then but he was put in the Gifted program. Got new cat named Flounder.
November 2008 my sick 13 year old cat passes away at home. I could have the month wrong but I think it was somewhere around fall that my ex got engaged to Jennifer #2. Got new cat named Sugar.
February 2009 son is professionally tested to NOT have aspergers but be ADHD in the hyperactive variety plus impulsivity issues. IEP meeting set for my son in a few months at his school.
March 2009 got 4 year old dog groomed (saved up for months). Two days later she got really sick and I ran her to the vet. Two days after that she died, much to all of our shock. Cats mourn as do we.
That brings us to today. April 7th 2009.
April 2008 divorce was finalized.
June 2008 won a trip to Puerto Rico through work for a job well done. Took M and had a blast.
Late August my daughter starts 1st grade and my son starts 3rd. My son is trying to be labeled with having Aspergers (the school has been trying since kindergarten.) He received an IQ test last year which ranked him Superior range. I didn't know what that meant then but he was put in the Gifted program. Got new cat named Flounder.
November 2008 my sick 13 year old cat passes away at home. I could have the month wrong but I think it was somewhere around fall that my ex got engaged to Jennifer #2. Got new cat named Sugar.
February 2009 son is professionally tested to NOT have aspergers but be ADHD in the hyperactive variety plus impulsivity issues. IEP meeting set for my son in a few months at his school.
March 2009 got 4 year old dog groomed (saved up for months). Two days later she got really sick and I ran her to the vet. Two days after that she died, much to all of our shock. Cats mourn as do we.
That brings us to today. April 7th 2009.
Holy time flying like crazy
I blink my eyes and here it is a year and a half later. I doubt anyone I used to chat with on here will be still checking my blog. But I plan to start blogging again. Life has changed so much for me and is still changing. So much still to share about life and especially my growing kids.
Angel's cloud has shifted but is still here.
Angel's cloud has shifted but is still here.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Where to begin?
I have been away so long I doubt anyone will read this but still, I am determined to update my blog but where to begin?
Well, I have been working more than full-time trying to make ends meet. Making ends meet got harder when work took away bonuses thus cutting out almost $300 a month. Still I trudge on.
My ex-husband and are are pretty much interacting like we did when we were married only via text and email. Yep, we fight. I am trying to avoid it now for obvious reasons. He is on girlfriend #2 (both named Jennifer, odd.) #2 has been around about 4 months I think (but I guess they met on line after we separated and while he was dating Jennifer #1....hmmmmm.) I had a dream that I was asking the newest Jennifer 'how do you like my house? How do you like cooking in my kitchen?" (Obviously I regret letting go of the house) The next morning I learned she had moved into the house. Weird. They are talking about marriage. Wow.
I could care less what he does or who he dates. All that matters are my children and how many Jennifers and non -jennifers he parades through their lives. I have nothing against her, what did she do? Nothing. The only thing she did was fall for the 'put on a pedestal' initial phase of my ex-husbands way of courtship. In 4 years when she realizes she does 90% of things, that they seem to argue at every turn, that he picks apart every thing she says to the finite word, grumbles about things a lot and has a negative outlook, that he takes staying up late as if you hate him rather than you want to unwind from a long day with kids, where she is watching all football or sports or leaving the room to watch something else, that when she watches something she likes he will ridicule it until she stops watching it and that she goes to bed wondering how she got there and is so miserable, then she and I can talk.
My kids are doing great. My son is doing better in school. My daughter is funny as ever. My dog is good, my old cat passed away a month ago (sniffle.) Marc got us a new kitten who is 4 months old named Flounder. So time marches on.
Marc is wonderful and I have never been happier. It seems odd that things should be so easy but they are. What the future holds it holds. We have talked about the kids and I moving in with him and who knows, there may be wedding bells for us too. We have been dating for a bit over a year now and keeps getting better.
I have discovered the evils of Facebook but have reconnected with a ton of people from high school and college. I have very little free-time so what time I do have I rarely spend on the computer. It's odd because 2 years ago it's all I would do was spend time on the computer. How time changes things.
All I know is that life is never easy but my kids and I are much much happier now that their dad and I are not married and that speaks volumes. My kids love love love Marc and keep asking him when we will marry. I know they don't want to lose him. They have nothing to worry about. He isn't going anywhere but in my arms.
So hello to you all. I see some blogs are gone (good luck to you and I find myself worrying about Rachelemma since hers is gone. Prayers to her family if what I am thinking happened.)
Others have marched on blogging away and living life at the same time. Good for you to find the time. I hope you are all well and I send you all my best.
Well, I have been working more than full-time trying to make ends meet. Making ends meet got harder when work took away bonuses thus cutting out almost $300 a month. Still I trudge on.
My ex-husband and are are pretty much interacting like we did when we were married only via text and email. Yep, we fight. I am trying to avoid it now for obvious reasons. He is on girlfriend #2 (both named Jennifer, odd.) #2 has been around about 4 months I think (but I guess they met on line after we separated and while he was dating Jennifer #1....hmmmmm.) I had a dream that I was asking the newest Jennifer 'how do you like my house? How do you like cooking in my kitchen?" (Obviously I regret letting go of the house) The next morning I learned she had moved into the house. Weird. They are talking about marriage. Wow.
I could care less what he does or who he dates. All that matters are my children and how many Jennifers and non -jennifers he parades through their lives. I have nothing against her, what did she do? Nothing. The only thing she did was fall for the 'put on a pedestal' initial phase of my ex-husbands way of courtship. In 4 years when she realizes she does 90% of things, that they seem to argue at every turn, that he picks apart every thing she says to the finite word, grumbles about things a lot and has a negative outlook, that he takes staying up late as if you hate him rather than you want to unwind from a long day with kids, where she is watching all football or sports or leaving the room to watch something else, that when she watches something she likes he will ridicule it until she stops watching it and that she goes to bed wondering how she got there and is so miserable, then she and I can talk.
My kids are doing great. My son is doing better in school. My daughter is funny as ever. My dog is good, my old cat passed away a month ago (sniffle.) Marc got us a new kitten who is 4 months old named Flounder. So time marches on.
Marc is wonderful and I have never been happier. It seems odd that things should be so easy but they are. What the future holds it holds. We have talked about the kids and I moving in with him and who knows, there may be wedding bells for us too. We have been dating for a bit over a year now and keeps getting better.
I have discovered the evils of Facebook but have reconnected with a ton of people from high school and college. I have very little free-time so what time I do have I rarely spend on the computer. It's odd because 2 years ago it's all I would do was spend time on the computer. How time changes things.
All I know is that life is never easy but my kids and I are much much happier now that their dad and I are not married and that speaks volumes. My kids love love love Marc and keep asking him when we will marry. I know they don't want to lose him. They have nothing to worry about. He isn't going anywhere but in my arms.
So hello to you all. I see some blogs are gone (good luck to you and I find myself worrying about Rachelemma since hers is gone. Prayers to her family if what I am thinking happened.)
Others have marched on blogging away and living life at the same time. Good for you to find the time. I hope you are all well and I send you all my best.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Happiness is not under rated.
I just reread a ton of messages I didn't know I had on here and want to thank you all (John, Terry, MLioux, Mike, Angel and whomever else I missed in my dusty rusty memory banks.)
Life has been good.... busy but good. Financially it has been really tough. More than half of my pay goes to my mortgage. I am constantly reminded that I took very little in child support. I certainly could use more to just buy gas or groceries (have you seen the rising costs of that?) but swore I would be a different ex-wife for my kid's sake. I don't want to bury my ex-husband to not be able to make it. It seems in being that way I am burying myself.
That is enough grumbling because life marches on.
If it weren't for Marc I would be in a different place in life. I truly feel I met my soul mate, my missing piece, the man of my dreams. He picks me up in ways every day just by the small things that I can not even tell you all. The way we interact is so easy, so simple and so right.
He is great with my children and my babies adore him. The bad thing is that when the kids spend a long period of time just with their dad they come to me in such a negative mood that it takes hours to pull them forcefully out of that dreary place. Like tonight for instance. Today was the first time Marc went to one of my kids baseball games. I know it upset my ex but to what extent I am not sure. My ex views it that I left him because of Marc. He refuses to see that I was leaving regardless it was just going to take me some time for financial reasons. He refuses to see that his issues and our issues are why we split. So I truly believe that Marc being at the game upset him and that trickled down to my children either by his attitude, his mood or even things he said. It took 2 hours to get my son out of the funk he had come to me in. In the morning at the game my son was in a great mood. In the evening when I got him he was argumentive, moody, non-responsive, full of attitude and so much more. After 2 hours of hugs, kisses, laughing, teasing, joking and then finally saying 'that's enough get out of this funk' he finally relaxed.
Work is going well. The only down side is a staff member I like a lot has put her notice in. She loves working with us but travels far to work every day so the rising gas prices are killing her. So now I am prepping to interview for her replacement. She is a beacon of light at work so finding a replacement will take time.
I must be doing something right because I was top manager out of the three city centers and won a trip to Puerto Rico. There were some meetings to go to but all I went to were fun and easy. I got to take Marc and the weather was great. The only bad thing it was too short. I need a week long vacation one of these times. I will post photos next chance I get.
My life is just 200% better and yes John (and whoever else said it) I am very very very happy. I never realized just how happy I could be until now. Now life is just roses, chocolates and laughter.
May you all know such happiness in your life......
Life has been good.... busy but good. Financially it has been really tough. More than half of my pay goes to my mortgage. I am constantly reminded that I took very little in child support. I certainly could use more to just buy gas or groceries (have you seen the rising costs of that?) but swore I would be a different ex-wife for my kid's sake. I don't want to bury my ex-husband to not be able to make it. It seems in being that way I am burying myself.
That is enough grumbling because life marches on.
If it weren't for Marc I would be in a different place in life. I truly feel I met my soul mate, my missing piece, the man of my dreams. He picks me up in ways every day just by the small things that I can not even tell you all. The way we interact is so easy, so simple and so right.
He is great with my children and my babies adore him. The bad thing is that when the kids spend a long period of time just with their dad they come to me in such a negative mood that it takes hours to pull them forcefully out of that dreary place. Like tonight for instance. Today was the first time Marc went to one of my kids baseball games. I know it upset my ex but to what extent I am not sure. My ex views it that I left him because of Marc. He refuses to see that I was leaving regardless it was just going to take me some time for financial reasons. He refuses to see that his issues and our issues are why we split. So I truly believe that Marc being at the game upset him and that trickled down to my children either by his attitude, his mood or even things he said. It took 2 hours to get my son out of the funk he had come to me in. In the morning at the game my son was in a great mood. In the evening when I got him he was argumentive, moody, non-responsive, full of attitude and so much more. After 2 hours of hugs, kisses, laughing, teasing, joking and then finally saying 'that's enough get out of this funk' he finally relaxed.
Work is going well. The only down side is a staff member I like a lot has put her notice in. She loves working with us but travels far to work every day so the rising gas prices are killing her. So now I am prepping to interview for her replacement. She is a beacon of light at work so finding a replacement will take time.
I must be doing something right because I was top manager out of the three city centers and won a trip to Puerto Rico. There were some meetings to go to but all I went to were fun and easy. I got to take Marc and the weather was great. The only bad thing it was too short. I need a week long vacation one of these times. I will post photos next chance I get.
My life is just 200% better and yes John (and whoever else said it) I am very very very happy. I never realized just how happy I could be until now. Now life is just roses, chocolates and laughter.
May you all know such happiness in your life......
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
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