Missing my peeps

What can I say, I miss all my peeps on blogspot and I'm sure I have a ton of catching up to do. I will read galore on evenings when I'm in my new home (that is if I'm not busting hump doing work to pay the bills. LOL)

What has happened since I last reported? A lot and nothing if that makes sense. My soon-to-be ex fllipped out on me on Halloween because I washed my car off at HIS house. My parent's neighbor was burning stuff and ash covered Cali. I couldn't wash it at my parents house due to constant ash and never thought it would be a deal to rinse Cali off. Boy was I wrong.

I'm apparently a disrespectful thief on top of the lieing cheating whore he has called me. Later, when discussing my move and previously arranged plans to have my parents watch my kids as I moved since he was supposed to supervise his home as I moved and we didn't want the kids to witness it, he flipped out again. I guess since it's his day on the custody and (unbeknownst to me) did NOT plan to supervise now that he was angry that I CHANGED plans on him again and was taking the kids from him on HIS day. I tried to calmly talk over him as he screamed at me over the phone what a liar I was and how I was a 'lieing good for nothing piece of shit' before I hung up.

It is moments like that that remind me of why I am leaving. His temper, his negative outlook, his controlling nature, his harmful hateful words and more. He still doesn't see why I have left. I just wish I could afford to file for the divorce but I am closing on a new home and need every penny for closing. I probably shouldn't even have went to get my eye's checked today but it has been over 2-1/2 years. I'm glad I went because now I need to have my eye pressure checked with an Opthamologist. I'm only 34 and too young to hear the words 'Glaucoma'. I'm just hoping it's the stress that has affected it but i don't want to mess around.

I'm still at my parents house (and can't get on line often enough) and the teachers at my children's school are still on strike until Nov. 15th (one whole month). I look forward to my own place and school again. A routine, a place a ritual.

My biggest fear is not being able to pay the bills. My design work isn't a guaranteed paycheck so I'm scared to say the least. I plan to send out marketing things but also will prep a resume to architectural firms as a back up plan. I will survive and perservere some how. I'm not a shrinking violet and there is one thing this whole experience has taught me: I am stronger than I ever thought possible.

I hope you are all well and miss you. I can not wait to peek into your blogworld soon. Just know you are all in my thoughts!! I'm outy like a belly button.