What comes around goes around....

In mid 2007- early 2008 during my divorce I was buried in debt, fear, and 60 hour work weeks.  With two young kids, more than a full-time job, a townhouse of my own to take care of and an ex to navigate while helping a child with issues I was feeling overwhelmed and alone.  My new man is a tough man and he is a no-nonsense guy who says 'just do it' attitude.

On a particularly rough day my sister texted me while I was driving to work with two fighting kids in the back seat.  At a stop light I texted back "I can't text, I'm in my car."  She replied "Don't text and drive."  And now I have two fighting kids and a lecture for a stressed- out person.  So I texted back "I'm at a stop light.  Please don't lecture."

With family I have only been able to vent to my mom.  My dad hears my complaints and tries to 'fix' things or worries too much.  With my older sister who has gone through something similar she would listen but we didn't always communicate well.  My younger sister was the one who lectured.  "stop being the victim", "stop complaining and raise your kids" among other statements.

Now 8 years later my sister and her husband moved back to PA from florida and all she does is whine and complain about the snow and weather and how florida is "paradise" and snidely makes fun of PA.  I am sick of it and have told her to either move or stop complaining (which is what she would say to me.)  This isn't life shattering.  This was a choice like my divorce.  Like when she told me to stop playing the victim.  But she likes to make herself the victim by saying they moved back "for family".  But in reality their work situation was dissolving and a job opened up back home.  They made an adult choice.  Time to deal and shut it or move back.

All in all she laid the ground work for the 'don't play the victim, shut up' mentality and I am dieing to throw it back in her face however I know that she won't remember EVER talking to me that way because I am always painted the evil-doer and nasty person and she is the 'good person'.  She couldn't be more wrong.  We both have our moments and neither of us have learned to properly be there for each other.  I will throw it in her face if I can but I keep trying to be a good person.  But some day what comes around goes around.

Wise words in marriage

Judge Lynn Toler on Divorce Court today stated "women need love when they are the least lovable and men need applause when they least deserve it."  Wise words.