Fistses of Five year old furry.

Peanut put on the Hulk Hands and my goodness was it funny. I was laughing at the whole picture. Then she turned to her daddy and said, "I'm going to destroy you." We laughed hysterically. She went swinging at her daddy with the hulk noises erupting from the fists of five year old furry hitting her daddy. Funny little grunts emmited from her and even a growl or two. His hands were up protecting his face when she punched him THERE... guys, you know where.

He crumpled and she laughed. Turning to her brother she said, "(insert my son's name here) I punched daddy in the pee pee and that was funny."

Daddy didn't think so but the fight continued. He was covering his area better when she punched him in the face. Then she said, "My fistes are strong!" in a grunty voice that we call her REDRUM voice.

But of course, peanut.

My peanut was talking to me this afternoon about her stuffed dog. She said it was a wolf, it was a female wolf to be exact. I chuckled.

"Oh yeah? A female wolf?"

"Yeah mommy. Her name is Mrs. Wolfy."

"Wow, that's nice honey."

"And she has a sister. Her name is Mrs. Wolfy."

I tilt my head to the side and look at her with amusement.

"They have the same name?"

She gives me that slight eye roll (they pick that up quickly LOL) and then says, "yes mommy, they ARE twins."

But of course peanut.

Love affair with David Caruso continues... (not)

So those of you who have endured my blog for some time (god bless you for your patience and unexplained loyalty) will know how I feel about David Caruso. For those of you who do not... see THIS POST....

Well I have STRONG feelings about his 'style' of acting, if that's what it's called. And my buddy Lioux even sent me a funny thing to my myspace page (to make me laugh or to annoy me? A little of both?) Anyway....

Last night I was wired and not ready to sleep. Not only that I was starving. For some reason on nights I work I don't eat much dinner and end up famished by nights end and so a nice bowl of Cocoa pebbles (healthy huh?) was in order. I decided to take it upstairs to my room to watch some TV as hubby dozed off. I flipped around a lot between HGTV, Fox News, David Letterman and Jay Leno. Not much was going on that intrigued me and yet I wouldn't turn it off yet. Jim Carey came onto David Letterman and I'm always amazed how much my one BIL (Rob) looks like him. I watch his interview because of that and because he's funny, until a commercial break. Then I flip around yet again. When I flip back to see what he's commiserating about now I find this......



OMG.... I nearly peed my pants or at least almost woke hubby up. I told him about it but it didn't do it justice so I showed him. I was somehow not surprised that entering Jim Carey David Caruso and David Letterman would find it. But I'm glad I did because it was funny

A new conversation with 'the Peanut'

My daughter just walked up to my husband and said, "I am a doctor. I take care of dead people."

We stiffled our laughs as best we could and we told her that she wouldn't have much to do to take care of dead people. We explained that you can't do anything to help dead people. She said, "Maybe we could give them a cup of blood to bring them back to life."

WTF? Where does she learn this stuff?

We told her that we don't think that would work.

She finally conceeded, "Alright, I'll take care of sick people." We smiled at each other. Then she added, "I'll stick a needle in their arms to take the sickness out."

Adding to this conversation she stated that people would come to her office and that no one was to see her feet. (she is wearing mommy's blue mittens on her feet. LOL)

Daddy asked her, "Why can't they see your feet?"

"Because they can't take my stinky feet."

Ahhh, you can keep my mittens baby doll. hee hee.

A moment with my Peanut

My daughter has always named things: her dolls, her animals her horses. Back in time the names were a blur like 'ala' and 'abda' because she failed to come up with a name. Then everything was either her or her brother's name.

Yesterday she engaged her dad and I in a conversation about 'when I grow up'. She was thinking about the pets she'd have when she will be an adult. (Bear in mind we have one dog, one cat and one fish.) She told us she would have a black cat and name it licorice (color us surprised by her creative answer. We are LOVING that name.) Then she would have a dog that was brown (hmmm like the dog we HAVE?) and name him (and here we forgot but today she came up with the name I'm listing here) "Cheesy. LOL And she'd have a fish (which if this 'Jason' fish we have that is 4 years old is as scary as I think it might be the SAME fish) she'd name him 'Deary'.

Why am I sharing this? Simple. We tend to forget these things she says. We try to write funny things down but have fallen off that habit. So I plan to write those things here and every month print it out and keep a binder for my kids to look back and laugh at when they grow up. I'm like Monica on 'Friends' with binders and labels. LOL.

So there is a moment with my Peanut.

Funny moments

Tonight we had a crowd pleaser for dinner: Pizza Hut pizza. My kids love it because....well it's pizza. And they love it because it is one of the only time they can have pop (soda to some of you) with dinner. My son excitedly volunteered to run to the basement for it but not before asking us each what we wanted. Armed with 3 pops (hubby wasn't home yet) he asked me to turn the lights out because he was determined to carry them himself. (Stubborn, I have NO idea where he gets THAT from? lol)

So we begin to eat while daddy fights through traffic (he always tell us to start without him by a certain time because sometimes traffic is bad.) My son is having an A&W rootbeer and my daugther is having a caffiene free Coke (no caffiene for my monkeys, they don't need it.) So after we chat a bit about their days my son is reading his can of pop because now he can read and is quite proud of it.

He said, "Mommy it says rootbeer has been around since 1919."

I look over and I say,

"Oh no, honey. That means that that company has been making rootbeer since 1919."

He replied with, "ohhh so the cavemen had it."

I bursted out laughing. "No honey, there were no cavemen in 1919. Cavemen were alive a very very long time ago. Wayyyyyy before 1919."

"Oh." And he laughs.

My daughter decided to join in the caveman/rootbeer debate with: "Yeah! Cavemen would say 'aahhhhhh I like rootbeer.'"

Ahhh kids. They kept up like that until daddy got home. They had me laughing so hard I was crying.

My little girl...

My daughter and I are close now. Like two peas in a pod. My mom and I are close, our personalities are very very similar and for many years people would call me 'mini me' in regard to being her mini me. Now my daughter is referred to as the 'mini-mini me'. LOL

All I know is that my mom and I talk like mother/daughter as well as like friends. We laugh at the same things and correspond daily. She lost her mom when she was 17 (her dad when she was 15.) I am grateful to have gotten the opportunity to know her as more than just my mom.

I hope that one day, my little girl and I will be equally close and enjoy a wonderful friendship. Only time will tell and I certainly don't want my little 5 year old angel to grow up too fast.

These days I never know whether she'll wake up viewing me as the heroine in her life or the villian keeping her from what she wants. Yesterday her school was cancelled and she begged me not to cancel it. I told her that I had no control over the closing.

Today I learned I was the villan yesterday. When daddy talked to peanut (whom he hasn't seen since Tuesday other than sleeping in her bed) he brought up the fact that school was closed yesterday. Her reply? "Yeah," with a long face and pouty tone, "mommy closed it." And now she blamed me for her getting killed on her gameboy game. Apparently today I'm not the heroine. LOL

Another moment with the peanut [?]

Yesterday I picked up my daughter from preschool. As always I asked her about her day and what she did. I ask her specific questions having learned with my son that they quickly forget the entire 2-1/2 hours they spent and all they did unless you pry it out of them. We were talking and she said out of the blue, "I want to go to Disney World."

(No Mike, she isn't reading your blog. LOL But she does remember going in May of 2005.)

Me: "I know honey. We'll go again in a few years."
Peanut: "Where IS Disney World?"
Me: "It's in Florida. Near the East Coast of Florida. Uncle Bill and Aunt April live on the west coast of Florida."
Peanut: "Yeah, 'cause Texas is too hot."

What?

*sigh*

The boy is home...

After Saturday I was worried that my house would be pandamonium. But it hasn't been, it has been delightful. After getting some things done (and I still need to do more) I spent time with my kids, reading books and such. I hope to get more housework done so we can play a few games, like Trouble.

Then my son wanted a snack and I had just made a cake. He got done with that and some hot cocoa (hey no snow doesn't mean it's warm here. LOL) When he got done he said, "I'm so full I'm like a bear in a honey factory." Where does he come up with this stuff?

Mighty Mustache Man

Today my son decided to be like daddy. Armed with a washable marker, his imagination and his dress clothes....."Mustache man" was born. (he called himself that, not me.)

It was too funny not to capture and post.

Side note: Hubby has dark hair and a goatee. *giggle* Is he trying to be daddy? *smile*

Funny Funny Zen funny

I got this from hubby. The are all funny. Well one isn't as funny but here you go:

Zen sarcasm

1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me,for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't bepromoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple ofcar payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes.That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

12. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

13. Some days you're the bug; some days you're the windshield.

14. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

15. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

16. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

17. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a darkside, and it holds the universe together. This one is for the folks at Damn You Dan, the Star wars fans!!!

18. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. This one makes me want to give hubby a dirty look but he didn't write this so I won't. *giggle*

19. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

20. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

21. Never miss a good chance to shut up.

22. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. That is sound advice. LOL

My little peanut...

My daughter cracks me up on a regular basis. It's not that my son doesn't anymore it's just that my daugther is at an age when the funniest things come out of her mouth.

Yesterday, while driving her to preschool, she was yelling from her carseat in my 'oh so sheek' teal mini van. I know, stop drooling it's a sexy car. *chuckle* What was she yelling? Let me try to quote her...

"Hey lady! That's a green light! Move!"

As we got to the turn into her preschool I had two cars in front of me. The lead car was turning into the preschool but the one in front of me wasn't. When the lead car was turning we slowed down. This caused my daughter to yell, "Lady! There isn't a light at my pwestool (that's preschool in peanut talk.)"

Both times I said, "[insert peanut's name here], why are you yelling. We aren't in any hurry, this is normal for driving. When a car slows down, we slow down. There are rules on the road. I'm not yelling, you shouldn't be."

Finally the last time she yelled that at the preschool I said, "Why are you yelling? We had to slow down, honey. It's part of driving." Then a thought struck me, do I do that? Do I yell as I drive but don't realize it? So I asked her. Kids are honest, she'll tell me. "[insert peanut's name here] does mommy yell like that?"

"No. But daddy does."

I busted out laughing. Oh when I told hubby about that you could hear the vacuum of him inhaling in shock. Yes, honey. I told you to calm down in the car that the kids pick all that up. *wipes brow, phew* it wasn't me. *chuckle*

*****

This morning I was helping peanut in the bathroom getting dressed. I just got her pants on and she said, "Yeah! Thats what I'm talkin' about sweet mama!" I laughed so hard I almost fell over. Later I gleened from her that that was said in the movie 'Barnyard' which we rented over the weekend. She only saw it once and yet she quoted it. Silly girl. Hee hee.

ohhh! That reminds me, I have to return those movies. Crap and I was just at that store this morning. *sigh*

Waking up on the horror movie side of the bed...

My daughter has a fantastic imagination (both my kids d0.) They would rather play with their imaginations than watch TV. I have no need to kick them off the sofa to go play, they do it themselves.

This morning my daughter seems to have slipped into a horror movie mode or something. She has been out of pullups at night for almost a year but still has the ocassional 'accident'. (bladder control takes time and training so I don't worry.) But of course after completely organizing the second floor and remaking the beds last night she'd have an accident. (of course.)

After doing some online banking I head up to her room to strip and remake the bed and continue the laundry train that I'm the conductor of (and never seems to have a caboose to, what's up with that?) She's sitting with a huge handful of costume jewelry in her hands and turns and says, "Oh Mommy! You scawed me. (because her 'r's' are like that and her 'k's' are like 't's' so bear with me. LOL)"

I apologized for scaring her and told her I was going to change her bed.

Naturally her reply was, "Yeah, cause if a werewolf comes I will grab them and shove bracelets down their throats." This stops me dead in my tracks. Did I just have a stroke or did she just say that? No stroke. She said that and she continues into a 15 minute discussion of werewolves. Here are some of the hightlights of the conversation (which was mostly one sided but with me saying "hmmm", "oh really?" and "What else?" Yes, I was egging her on.)

"Werewolves hate the light so when they come I'll catch them with my lightbulb."

"And you can make them Cream of Wheat and that will scare them." (she's on a cream of wheat kick and has eaten it for 5 mornings in a row.)

"Werewolves have sharp claws like hyenas."

And then somewhere in there she wanted a white kitty (which she pronounces 'titty' I know. I know.) from her shelf. I had given it to her and she spied a Ty elephant up there and asked for it. I told her she wasn't going to have me clear her shelf after I had just organized her room. She just stared at me. So I decided to slip into her imaginary world and said, "Besides, elephants will be of no use to you against werewolves." (This sentence made hubby laugh even harder.)

Her reply? "Okay. I won't talk about werewolves anymore." What? I'm so confused.

But after making her bed and gathering the soiled sheets she picks up a costume ring off her vanity and asks one final question, "Do you think werewolves marry other werewolves?"

Ohhhh peanut. You amuse me so.

Lighter note...

On a lighter note from my last post I have to say that, on a Saturday after sleeping in, my son wakes up in a wonderful mood. He isn't a morning person like his younger sister or mom (he's like his dad...lol) But this morning he is so funny.

He says so many funny things and I hope to write down some of these gems he says so I can record them for posterity.

This morning he was telling me about the special effects on the game he was playing on his gameboy game. I replied by, "You're kidding me!" His reply? In a serious tone he said, "Mommy, I never kid when it comes to games."

Then a few minutes later he told my husband that cereal, including the Honey Nut Cheerios he was eating, was made of wood shavings. Apparently a cartoon once said that and he has a photographic memory. Then my husband said, "No they are made of oats and other things. Here, read the ingredients." My son did read the ingredients and was upset to see that there were almonds in it. After realizing that he could deal with the almonds he and my husband discussed the honey part of the cereal.

He asked my husband, "How do they get the honey from the bees." My husband, jokingly said, "They gently squeeze the bees." After saying this absurdity I looked at my husband who laughed hysterically. My son laughed too. But quickly followed with, "Maybe they dress up like a bee and say..'buzz buzz' and the bees let them have it."

Somewhere toward the end of this discussion my son said, "But the bees don't get paid for this job. I guess they could get paid in honey." He cracks me up.

Cleaning jag and weird thoughts

With my decorations away I am on a cleaning jag. I'm fighting off one of my migraines (must talk to a doctor) and pondering the weird thoughts I have on ocassion.

My daugther had preschool this week as usual (which is wed-friday) and I drive across town to drop her off after sending my son off on his school bus. Then before lunch I pick her up again. In my drive I pass by my church. Outside they have built a new brick sign with the Parish's name on the top and under it is one of those digital signs or pixilated signs or whatever you call it. It has messages flashing on it or scrolling that can be programmed. Now I don't know how one works those things but an odd thought kept coming back to me as I drove by the sign each way.

It has a nice 'Have a Blessed Day' message followed by the mass schedule for the week. And that got me to thinking. What if the person in charge had a jokster moment and decided to alter the message for one hour one day and then flip it back to normal as if nothing happened.

I would find it kind of amusing if you drove by the sign and it said: "Run! Run for your lives! The end is here!" or near Easter it could say, "Special guest speaker: Jesus Christ. First 100 in the door get free IPods."

Okay, I feel better sharing my odd thoughts with you. Now my mind can move on. LOL