Las Vegas trip pics part 2

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Las Vegas Trip pics Part 1

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Busy life, happy woman

My life is busy. I am working like a dog but loving my life. I can't even put into words what it feels like in comparison for me. This thursday my children are leaving with their dad for a 10 day vacation. I have mixed emotion. Of course the biggest issue for me with them leaving is missing them and worry that I won't be there for them. I know he will take care of them and I even emailed him my concern for my own peace of mind. The flip side is looking forward to having the house stay clean after I clean it up. To not having gum stuck to things, the dog covered in goo, no crumbs thrown about and no drinks knocked over just before leaving for school. I can go to the gym when I want and go out when I want.

It's a mixture of dread and glee and hard for people without kids to understand. (I know my new man doesn't fully get it but he lets me be me so it's all good.)

Well I better get back to work! Take care all!

Trip

My trip to Vegas with my new man was awesome. I have pics but don't want to post them here unless he agrees so for now just know that it was sooo much fun.

February? Already?

I am wondering where the time flies. I am still in shock that I am 35 years old.

I am wondering what happened after christmas did I enter a time warp? Holy cow!

Since becoming manager at my place of employment days are whipping by like cars on the audobon.

Update on my life:

Kids = Good. Today is my baby boy's 8th birthday. Again. Where did the time go?

New Man = Totally awesome. His birthday was yesterday and I spoiled him, much to his surprise and delight. Pets = healthy and good and loving my new Man.

Work = busy busy. With my 40+ hours at work, work at home and design work when I am asked what I like to do in my free time I wonder.... 'what is free time?' LOL.

EX = met someone new and has chosen my son's b-day dinner tonight to introduce her to our children.

That last tidbit has my parents in a tizzy. They are pissed off that he put them through hell about his life being over and blah blah blah. He stood in my parents driveway and in front of my parents and children (in August) called me a liar and whore just because I was txting my then client now NEW Man confiding in him my marital issues. My friends all think he met her before (he claims he didn't) and was pushing me out in hopes to make me the bad guy and him the victim. I don't care WHO he has in his life provided #1 they are nice and good to my children, #2 Never confuse their role with mine as their mother. My ex and I have both agreed that they only have ONE mom and dad and shall call no one else by that name. I am guessing he would be the one to break that rule but I could be wrong. I mean he wouldn't let my new guy meet the kids and held me under his thumb until he wanted his gf to meet them. As long as she isn't rebound chick and he won't parade women in and out of their lives I'm fine.

Actually I am ecstatic he met someone. That means he's off my butt with his crap. What I am a bit miffed about is that he picked my son's birthday day and the dinner they will celebrate it at to introduce her. It seems poor timing. Since he always started fights during holidays, birthdays and special occassions I chalk this up to another one of those days and refuse to play into his hand.

So that's me in a nut shell. I can't believe I had 5 minutes to type this. I miss you all very much!

Beautiful flowers

I love roses. I had rose bushes at the house I can no longer live at. My favorite roses are yellow and second favorite are deep red. I will truly miss the roses this summer.

So last night when I got home from work I was excited because I was going to see M. When I walked out of the garage, into the foyer... there on the bench was a vase full of yellow roses with blood red on the petals tips. 2 dozen roses. Some were laying on the piano displayed deliberately, the rest in a vase. The foyer smelled amazing.

Needless to say I was even more happy. He's so sweet.

related or not?

Someone from Pittsburgh, PA is reading my blog from time to time. I have a link to a system that tracks where the readers of my blog are from. I'm not sure if it's completely unrelated or if it's my soon-to-be ex or perhaps his new gf reviewing my blog. If it's the last two..... you can go away. cya. bye. later.

If it's unrelated.... welcome.

On the job front

I like my part-time job. I enjoy the people I work with and the job I do. It isn't a terribly difficult job and I figured out the main system at work within the first 2 weeks. In February I will have been there a year so that is mind boggling for me how fast time flies.

I enjoy my design work and the money is good but it isn't regular like a normal paycheck. I bust my butt for clients and it can take 4 or more months to finish the project. It isn't condusive to paying the regular bills with piece of mind.

My part-time job doesn't pay a ton of money so I was left with a problem. How do I make ends meet?

Well I started putting out resumes. I have interviewed at some architectural firms.

Then last week an odd thing happened. Our new manager, who has been on the job for a few months, got a better offer somewhere else and told me in confidence that fact. He told me that when I went in in the morning and all day I thought, "I wonder if I should inquire about the job." All day I pondered that and even asked M what he thought. I went back to work that night and my manager asked to speak with me. In the office he told me to act surprised when the owner told me of his leaving and that he has recommended me for the manager position. He knew I wanted more full-time hours and that I needed the financial security.

On top of that he told me that I'm the only one in the department that follows through, and also goes out of my way to finish things that are not my responsibility. I was honored and told him that I was interested.

Later the owner pulled me aside and asked me if I was interested. I told him yes. He said he wanted to interview one more person, talk to the co-owner and get back to me. That was last thursday.

Yesterday morning I went in and my manager and the owner pulled me into a conference room and told me the job is mine if I want it. DO I WANT IT? Yes. Abso-freaking-lutely. I would be able to split my schedule so that my kids won't be in day care until summer. I would be making a good regular SALARY (not hourly) AND maybe bonuses. Add to that it's only a 10 minute drive from my home so gas money won't be too high, I don't pay to park and I could still do design work at my disgression.

Hello!? That was a no brainer. I was so excited I almost couldn't contain myself. Now mind you the job will be stressful and I've never been a manager before but I have ideas, I know the staff and I like them all (and as far as I know they like me.)

Only one of my staff knows (my staff.... that is so awesome to type) so tonight I will tell another one. The showroom is mine, hiring, schedules, reviews and the like. Wow. So I know what I could probably get salary wise from my previous managers recommendation (when asked) so hopefully they will agree to it. There will be vacation time, and benefits. I was looking at NO healthcare at all.

I started training this morning and will do more tomorrow morning and a few days next week. But already problems are being handed to me. I hope I do a great job and hope the deparment and showroom do very good under my direction.

Wish me luck!!

On a lighter note

After the flood gates I got a txt from my new man, M. He told me to relax and that it will all be okay. Can I tell you that his timing was impeccable. His simple words picked me up in a way I can't tell you.

From my previous post please don't think that I regret ending my marriage, I don't. I had to leave and not for any other reason but for me. My kids have benefited it seems by how much better they are doing now.

I have fallen madly in love with M. He is a positive force in my life. In all that was wrong with my ex that is what is right with him. In all that was stressful with my ex, is lighthearted with M. It's odd to say this in light of the ending of my marriage but M is my missing piece. I never thought I would have found a man who suited me so much but I did in him.

So as my day began so down trodden and depressive it ended with a beautiful sunset granted to me by M. Thank you for being my honey bear, M.

An emotional trip

Okay, I know I'm hormonal so it probably wasn't the best time to go to file for divorce. I had to save up to pay for it and today, while the kids were in school, I drove the 45 minutes to the County court house. As I was driving the heavens opened up and snow began to fall in huge coating flakes.

I was thinking and reflecting on the road that got me to driving to file for divorce. Don't ever believe that just because someone has chosen divorce that they don't feel some regret, some fear and sadness. The leaver feels horrible like the one they left and on top of that I am terrified of making it on my own. So hormonal chick that I was today I parked along the street, clutched my papers after feeding the meter and tromped through the snow in my eskimo coat hoping it won't take long to file the paper work that will end my 12 year marriage, and 14+ relationship with the father of my children.

After finally finding the entrance to the courthouse I emptied my pockets and put all my belongings on the x-ray machine as per the stern guards instructions. He gave me directions to the Prothonotary's office with the same friendly tone. Shaking I got on the elevator to go up, then walked the convoluted hallways to the main courthouse and back down to the first floor.

Then I met the wicked witch of the courthouse in the office that I sought. 'What do you have for us' she asked. I stated I was filing for divorce. After a 'you can't file this way, you need a custody ...blah blah' I showed her we in fact did have a custody agreement. She was quite possibly the most unfriendly person in the world. I mean I don't file for divorce every other day so I am not entirely sure what I was doing.

Lastly she asked for my divorce complaint. Searching through my crinkled folder of carefully crafted paperwork I came up empty. I had to break down and call my soon-to-be ex who is also an attorney to seek out the paper.

By then I was really shaking and totally emotional. I mean who truly wants to be standing in a cold marble covered office with stark white pages of legalize that delineates who gets what from the house and when you get to see your own kids. Not only that you have to pay for it and leave feeling empty.

Needless-to-say, I was missing that one piece of paper. I drove back in a complete snow storm on back roads sliding accomplishing nothing and crying like a baby. Of course that was the perfect time for the song my soon-t0-be ex and I danced to at our wedding came on. Open flood gates.

It has been an emotional morning for me. Sigh.

btw... I will be getting my stuff together and going back tomorrow. Double sigh.