The one regret I do not have is the choice to break free from my destructive marriage. As I approach in a few days what WOULD have been my 14 year anniversary I have turned introspective. I regret not fighting for the house. I regret not making different decisions in housing once I didn't fight for the house. I regret not being a stay at home mom any more as I can not always be the mom I used to be. It isn't that I don't like to work, contrary, I do like to work. Work gives me a sense of self. It just isn't enough money. But what I do NOT regret is leaving my now ex husband.
I hope to start up this blog again as a form of catharticism and to capture some more funny things my children say. My daughter says a ton of funny things and by rereading some of passed posts and the things they have said and done before has been fun.
So we shall see if I can post more regularly
Here's hoping for tons of top-down weather! (for my bug! hee hee)
Monday, May 24, 2010
Saturday, April 11, 2009
No kids
It's my weekend to have the kids BUT it's Easter weekend and S is to have the kids Easter Sunday (being an odd year... according to his legal forms. *rolls eyes*)
I make the most of the time without my babies rejouvenating myself so I am a better mom when I do have them. So M and I are chilling. I had a long day at work. Did the treadmill and am pooped.
Now.... what's for dinner M? lmao.
I make the most of the time without my babies rejouvenating myself so I am a better mom when I do have them. So M and I are chilling. I had a long day at work. Did the treadmill and am pooped.
Now.... what's for dinner M? lmao.
Thursday, April 09, 2009
photo catch up
M's favorite picture of S. In his fav hat.
S in her balloon boobs being a 'wooooman'
M likes to put things on my head and take photos. At least this isn't a basket.
Like this.
oh yeah... that's nice too. ugh.
Sugar laying across Flounder on our bed with M in bed one Saturday morning while I was at work... Looks comfy.
S in M's hat. She is sooo cute.
Yet another pic of me with something on my head.
S being a big busted woman in her Steeler garb.
Sugar, new cat #2 at 3 months. We got her Oct. 2008
S's 6th b-day sept 2007 (mid divorce)
S smiling BEFORE losing teeth Jan. 2008 in my new kitchen.
B just smiling. It doesn't happen all the time so it's a precious moment. Can't wait to see him calm down and laugh all the time.
S January 2008 in my new townhouse after the divorce. She likes pink.
Christmas 2007 my son B (in blue stripes) my daughter (red/pink stripes) and my neices K, in the back and J on the right. In my parents house. They just sold their house.
My kids Halloween Oct. 2008. Hannah Montana and Harry Potter of course. 2 plans and a huge pile of candy later they crashed. M and I took them around so we crashed too. LOL
Amber Raye Doo...... passed away March 4th 2009 a few days after a grooming visit gone wrong. Age.... only 4 years old. *sniff*
After my 13 year old cat Epi passed away in November we got flounder. This is him at 3 months old. He is much much bigger now.
My kids Halloween Oct. 2008. Hannah Montana and Harry Potter of course. 2 plans and a huge pile of candy later they crashed. M and I took them around so we crashed too. LOLAmber Raye Doo...... passed away March 4th 2009 a few days after a grooming visit gone wrong. Age.... only 4 years old. *sniff*After my 13 year old cat Epi passed away in November we got flounder. This is him at 3 months old. He is much much bigger now.
Laughter makes the day go by...
I had lots of laughs at work tonight which is a good thing since I started work at 8:30 am and finished at 9pm. (sure I left from 3pm until 6pm, which is nice) but laughing makes it much much better. I wish the chick that cracks me up wasn't temporarily filling in. Keeping a staff with the hours and pay that are offered in the detailed job we do is hard. We have fun though.
I think there was talk about an uptight person turning coal into diamonds in their a*s and many other (now nonsensical) things that just had me busting a gut. Ahhhh simple pleasures.
Two more days of work for me this week but at least my long days are done for the week.
So I called my kids and said good night and now I am going to curl up with M and relax.
I think there was talk about an uptight person turning coal into diamonds in their a*s and many other (now nonsensical) things that just had me busting a gut. Ahhhh simple pleasures.
Two more days of work for me this week but at least my long days are done for the week.
So I called my kids and said good night and now I am going to curl up with M and relax.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
What more could you want?
I am done with one of my long days. I'm in my jammies and sitting in bed watching tv/surfing the web beside M. What more could you ask for? Ahhhhhhh comfy. Oh yeah, and did I mention he fed me chocolate? yeah. I know.
Rough
My son is 9 years old and a handful. I love him dearly but there is a lot that exhausts me. Since Kindergarten we have gotten calls from the school about this or that. Through the years they threw the term aspergers at us. Part of the reason for my divorce was because of trying to find answers for my son. I felt my son needed evaluated and some help while my ex felt that my son is perfectly fine because, as he said, my son is just like my ex. (not a winning argument with me as I had many issues with how my ex operated.)
It is a minute to minute, day to day struggle with my son. As it turns out he does NOT have aspergers but he does have ADHD hyperactivity with impuslivity issues. He also has a 132 IQ. (Above superior range they say.)
According to my research:
High IQ & Genius IQ
Genius IQ is generally considered to begin around 140 to 145, representing ~.25% of the population (1 in 400). Here's a rough guide:
115-124 - Above average (e.g., university students)
125-134 - Gifted (e.g., post-graduate students)
135-144 - Highly gifted (e.g., intellectuals)
145-154 - Genius (e.g., professors)
155-164 - Genius (e.g., Nobel Prize winners)
165-179 - High genius
180-200 - Highest genius
>200 - "Unmeasurable genius"
His behaviors mimic aspergers children but are different from what they say. The biggest issue is his short fuse, lack of organization and his lack of understanding critism or changes in his routine. He will throw a knock down drag out body flalling fit.
He just had one. He posed this math problem and wouldn't let me show him my results because he was wrong. He hates being wrong. Instead he ripped the pen out of my hand, threw something at his sister, screamed over me then when I tried to continue to show him he ran out saying I hate him.
Aggggghhhh. What is a mom to do?
It is a minute to minute, day to day struggle with my son. As it turns out he does NOT have aspergers but he does have ADHD hyperactivity with impuslivity issues. He also has a 132 IQ. (Above superior range they say.)
According to my research:
High IQ & Genius IQ
Genius IQ is generally considered to begin around 140 to 145, representing ~.25% of the population (1 in 400). Here's a rough guide:
115-124 - Above average (e.g., university students)
125-134 - Gifted (e.g., post-graduate students)
135-144 - Highly gifted (e.g., intellectuals)
145-154 - Genius (e.g., professors)
155-164 - Genius (e.g., Nobel Prize winners)
165-179 - High genius
180-200 - Highest genius
>200 - "Unmeasurable genius"
His behaviors mimic aspergers children but are different from what they say. The biggest issue is his short fuse, lack of organization and his lack of understanding critism or changes in his routine. He will throw a knock down drag out body flalling fit.
He just had one. He posed this math problem and wouldn't let me show him my results because he was wrong. He hates being wrong. Instead he ripped the pen out of my hand, threw something at his sister, screamed over me then when I tried to continue to show him he ran out saying I hate him.
Aggggghhhh. What is a mom to do?
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Ahhhhhh...... Tuesday nights
I don't work tuesday nights. It is finish laundry nights. It is enjoy kids nights.
Tonight after homework we plan Easter egg coloring and a project started for my son. I have my Easter Ham in the oven since I work 12 hours Wednesdays and Thursdays. I figure making the ham on Friday would be cruel and unusual punishment.
M is finishing up his second 14 hour work day and I hope to surprise him with the ham. I hope he stays awake enough to eat it. LOL.
Right now we are working to sell my townhouse so we can move in with him. We plan to get married but financially can not do that until we sell or lease my place. He is 7 years older than me and has never been married. He says he wasn't going to settle for the wrong person. I am honored he views me as the 'right' person.
So I'm in comfy comfy clothes and worklaxing.......ahhhhh Tuesday nights.
Tonight after homework we plan Easter egg coloring and a project started for my son. I have my Easter Ham in the oven since I work 12 hours Wednesdays and Thursdays. I figure making the ham on Friday would be cruel and unusual punishment.
M is finishing up his second 14 hour work day and I hope to surprise him with the ham. I hope he stays awake enough to eat it. LOL.
Right now we are working to sell my townhouse so we can move in with him. We plan to get married but financially can not do that until we sell or lease my place. He is 7 years older than me and has never been married. He says he wasn't going to settle for the wrong person. I am honored he views me as the 'right' person.
So I'm in comfy comfy clothes and worklaxing.......ahhhhh Tuesday nights.
Life since the divorce
It has been a year since the divorce was official. I will give a quick synopsis of what has transpired since then.
April 2008 divorce was finalized.
June 2008 won a trip to Puerto Rico through work for a job well done. Took M and had a blast.
Late August my daughter starts 1st grade and my son starts 3rd. My son is trying to be labeled with having Aspergers (the school has been trying since kindergarten.) He received an IQ test last year which ranked him Superior range. I didn't know what that meant then but he was put in the Gifted program. Got new cat named Flounder.
November 2008 my sick 13 year old cat passes away at home. I could have the month wrong but I think it was somewhere around fall that my ex got engaged to Jennifer #2. Got new cat named Sugar.
February 2009 son is professionally tested to NOT have aspergers but be ADHD in the hyperactive variety plus impulsivity issues. IEP meeting set for my son in a few months at his school.
March 2009 got 4 year old dog groomed (saved up for months). Two days later she got really sick and I ran her to the vet. Two days after that she died, much to all of our shock. Cats mourn as do we.
That brings us to today. April 7th 2009.
April 2008 divorce was finalized.
June 2008 won a trip to Puerto Rico through work for a job well done. Took M and had a blast.
Late August my daughter starts 1st grade and my son starts 3rd. My son is trying to be labeled with having Aspergers (the school has been trying since kindergarten.) He received an IQ test last year which ranked him Superior range. I didn't know what that meant then but he was put in the Gifted program. Got new cat named Flounder.
November 2008 my sick 13 year old cat passes away at home. I could have the month wrong but I think it was somewhere around fall that my ex got engaged to Jennifer #2. Got new cat named Sugar.
February 2009 son is professionally tested to NOT have aspergers but be ADHD in the hyperactive variety plus impulsivity issues. IEP meeting set for my son in a few months at his school.
March 2009 got 4 year old dog groomed (saved up for months). Two days later she got really sick and I ran her to the vet. Two days after that she died, much to all of our shock. Cats mourn as do we.
That brings us to today. April 7th 2009.
Holy time flying like crazy
I blink my eyes and here it is a year and a half later. I doubt anyone I used to chat with on here will be still checking my blog. But I plan to start blogging again. Life has changed so much for me and is still changing. So much still to share about life and especially my growing kids.
Angel's cloud has shifted but is still here.
Angel's cloud has shifted but is still here.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Where to begin?
I have been away so long I doubt anyone will read this but still, I am determined to update my blog but where to begin?
Well, I have been working more than full-time trying to make ends meet. Making ends meet got harder when work took away bonuses thus cutting out almost $300 a month. Still I trudge on.
My ex-husband and are are pretty much interacting like we did when we were married only via text and email. Yep, we fight. I am trying to avoid it now for obvious reasons. He is on girlfriend #2 (both named Jennifer, odd.) #2 has been around about 4 months I think (but I guess they met on line after we separated and while he was dating Jennifer #1....hmmmmm.) I had a dream that I was asking the newest Jennifer 'how do you like my house? How do you like cooking in my kitchen?" (Obviously I regret letting go of the house) The next morning I learned she had moved into the house. Weird. They are talking about marriage. Wow.
I could care less what he does or who he dates. All that matters are my children and how many Jennifers and non -jennifers he parades through their lives. I have nothing against her, what did she do? Nothing. The only thing she did was fall for the 'put on a pedestal' initial phase of my ex-husbands way of courtship. In 4 years when she realizes she does 90% of things, that they seem to argue at every turn, that he picks apart every thing she says to the finite word, grumbles about things a lot and has a negative outlook, that he takes staying up late as if you hate him rather than you want to unwind from a long day with kids, where she is watching all football or sports or leaving the room to watch something else, that when she watches something she likes he will ridicule it until she stops watching it and that she goes to bed wondering how she got there and is so miserable, then she and I can talk.
My kids are doing great. My son is doing better in school. My daughter is funny as ever. My dog is good, my old cat passed away a month ago (sniffle.) Marc got us a new kitten who is 4 months old named Flounder. So time marches on.
Marc is wonderful and I have never been happier. It seems odd that things should be so easy but they are. What the future holds it holds. We have talked about the kids and I moving in with him and who knows, there may be wedding bells for us too. We have been dating for a bit over a year now and keeps getting better.
I have discovered the evils of Facebook but have reconnected with a ton of people from high school and college. I have very little free-time so what time I do have I rarely spend on the computer. It's odd because 2 years ago it's all I would do was spend time on the computer. How time changes things.
All I know is that life is never easy but my kids and I are much much happier now that their dad and I are not married and that speaks volumes. My kids love love love Marc and keep asking him when we will marry. I know they don't want to lose him. They have nothing to worry about. He isn't going anywhere but in my arms.
So hello to you all. I see some blogs are gone (good luck to you and I find myself worrying about Rachelemma since hers is gone. Prayers to her family if what I am thinking happened.)
Others have marched on blogging away and living life at the same time. Good for you to find the time. I hope you are all well and I send you all my best.
Well, I have been working more than full-time trying to make ends meet. Making ends meet got harder when work took away bonuses thus cutting out almost $300 a month. Still I trudge on.
My ex-husband and are are pretty much interacting like we did when we were married only via text and email. Yep, we fight. I am trying to avoid it now for obvious reasons. He is on girlfriend #2 (both named Jennifer, odd.) #2 has been around about 4 months I think (but I guess they met on line after we separated and while he was dating Jennifer #1....hmmmmm.) I had a dream that I was asking the newest Jennifer 'how do you like my house? How do you like cooking in my kitchen?" (Obviously I regret letting go of the house) The next morning I learned she had moved into the house. Weird. They are talking about marriage. Wow.
I could care less what he does or who he dates. All that matters are my children and how many Jennifers and non -jennifers he parades through their lives. I have nothing against her, what did she do? Nothing. The only thing she did was fall for the 'put on a pedestal' initial phase of my ex-husbands way of courtship. In 4 years when she realizes she does 90% of things, that they seem to argue at every turn, that he picks apart every thing she says to the finite word, grumbles about things a lot and has a negative outlook, that he takes staying up late as if you hate him rather than you want to unwind from a long day with kids, where she is watching all football or sports or leaving the room to watch something else, that when she watches something she likes he will ridicule it until she stops watching it and that she goes to bed wondering how she got there and is so miserable, then she and I can talk.
My kids are doing great. My son is doing better in school. My daughter is funny as ever. My dog is good, my old cat passed away a month ago (sniffle.) Marc got us a new kitten who is 4 months old named Flounder. So time marches on.
Marc is wonderful and I have never been happier. It seems odd that things should be so easy but they are. What the future holds it holds. We have talked about the kids and I moving in with him and who knows, there may be wedding bells for us too. We have been dating for a bit over a year now and keeps getting better.
I have discovered the evils of Facebook but have reconnected with a ton of people from high school and college. I have very little free-time so what time I do have I rarely spend on the computer. It's odd because 2 years ago it's all I would do was spend time on the computer. How time changes things.
All I know is that life is never easy but my kids and I are much much happier now that their dad and I are not married and that speaks volumes. My kids love love love Marc and keep asking him when we will marry. I know they don't want to lose him. They have nothing to worry about. He isn't going anywhere but in my arms.
So hello to you all. I see some blogs are gone (good luck to you and I find myself worrying about Rachelemma since hers is gone. Prayers to her family if what I am thinking happened.)
Others have marched on blogging away and living life at the same time. Good for you to find the time. I hope you are all well and I send you all my best.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Happiness is not under rated.
I just reread a ton of messages I didn't know I had on here and want to thank you all (John, Terry, MLioux, Mike, Angel and whomever else I missed in my dusty rusty memory banks.)
Life has been good.... busy but good. Financially it has been really tough. More than half of my pay goes to my mortgage. I am constantly reminded that I took very little in child support. I certainly could use more to just buy gas or groceries (have you seen the rising costs of that?) but swore I would be a different ex-wife for my kid's sake. I don't want to bury my ex-husband to not be able to make it. It seems in being that way I am burying myself.
That is enough grumbling because life marches on.
If it weren't for Marc I would be in a different place in life. I truly feel I met my soul mate, my missing piece, the man of my dreams. He picks me up in ways every day just by the small things that I can not even tell you all. The way we interact is so easy, so simple and so right.
He is great with my children and my babies adore him. The bad thing is that when the kids spend a long period of time just with their dad they come to me in such a negative mood that it takes hours to pull them forcefully out of that dreary place. Like tonight for instance. Today was the first time Marc went to one of my kids baseball games. I know it upset my ex but to what extent I am not sure. My ex views it that I left him because of Marc. He refuses to see that I was leaving regardless it was just going to take me some time for financial reasons. He refuses to see that his issues and our issues are why we split. So I truly believe that Marc being at the game upset him and that trickled down to my children either by his attitude, his mood or even things he said. It took 2 hours to get my son out of the funk he had come to me in. In the morning at the game my son was in a great mood. In the evening when I got him he was argumentive, moody, non-responsive, full of attitude and so much more. After 2 hours of hugs, kisses, laughing, teasing, joking and then finally saying 'that's enough get out of this funk' he finally relaxed.
Work is going well. The only down side is a staff member I like a lot has put her notice in. She loves working with us but travels far to work every day so the rising gas prices are killing her. So now I am prepping to interview for her replacement. She is a beacon of light at work so finding a replacement will take time.
I must be doing something right because I was top manager out of the three city centers and won a trip to Puerto Rico. There were some meetings to go to but all I went to were fun and easy. I got to take Marc and the weather was great. The only bad thing it was too short. I need a week long vacation one of these times. I will post photos next chance I get.
My life is just 200% better and yes John (and whoever else said it) I am very very very happy. I never realized just how happy I could be until now. Now life is just roses, chocolates and laughter.
May you all know such happiness in your life......
Life has been good.... busy but good. Financially it has been really tough. More than half of my pay goes to my mortgage. I am constantly reminded that I took very little in child support. I certainly could use more to just buy gas or groceries (have you seen the rising costs of that?) but swore I would be a different ex-wife for my kid's sake. I don't want to bury my ex-husband to not be able to make it. It seems in being that way I am burying myself.
That is enough grumbling because life marches on.
If it weren't for Marc I would be in a different place in life. I truly feel I met my soul mate, my missing piece, the man of my dreams. He picks me up in ways every day just by the small things that I can not even tell you all. The way we interact is so easy, so simple and so right.
He is great with my children and my babies adore him. The bad thing is that when the kids spend a long period of time just with their dad they come to me in such a negative mood that it takes hours to pull them forcefully out of that dreary place. Like tonight for instance. Today was the first time Marc went to one of my kids baseball games. I know it upset my ex but to what extent I am not sure. My ex views it that I left him because of Marc. He refuses to see that I was leaving regardless it was just going to take me some time for financial reasons. He refuses to see that his issues and our issues are why we split. So I truly believe that Marc being at the game upset him and that trickled down to my children either by his attitude, his mood or even things he said. It took 2 hours to get my son out of the funk he had come to me in. In the morning at the game my son was in a great mood. In the evening when I got him he was argumentive, moody, non-responsive, full of attitude and so much more. After 2 hours of hugs, kisses, laughing, teasing, joking and then finally saying 'that's enough get out of this funk' he finally relaxed.
Work is going well. The only down side is a staff member I like a lot has put her notice in. She loves working with us but travels far to work every day so the rising gas prices are killing her. So now I am prepping to interview for her replacement. She is a beacon of light at work so finding a replacement will take time.
I must be doing something right because I was top manager out of the three city centers and won a trip to Puerto Rico. There were some meetings to go to but all I went to were fun and easy. I got to take Marc and the weather was great. The only bad thing it was too short. I need a week long vacation one of these times. I will post photos next chance I get.
My life is just 200% better and yes John (and whoever else said it) I am very very very happy. I never realized just how happy I could be until now. Now life is just roses, chocolates and laughter.
May you all know such happiness in your life......
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